Caution and Advise in Friendships

Here in 2 Samuel 16:15-23 we have two close friends of David who are trying to kiss up to Absalom.

2 Samuel 16:15-23 (NIV)

15 Meanwhile, Absalom and all the men of Israel came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel was with him. 16 Then Hushai the Arkite, David’s friend, went to Absalom and said to him, “Long live the king! Long live the king!”

17 Absalom asked Hushai, “Is this the love you show your friend? Why didn’t you go with your friend?”

18 Hushai said to Absalom, “No, the one chosen by the LORD, by these people, and by all the men of Israel—his I will be, and I will remain with him. 19 Furthermore, whom should I serve? Should I not serve the son? Just as I served your father, so I will serve you.”

20 Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give us your advice. What should we do?”

21 Ahithophel answered, “Lie with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench in your father’s nostrils, and the hands of everyone with you will be strengthened.” 22 So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he lay with his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.

23 Now in those days the advice Ahithophel gave was like that of one who inquires of God. That was how both David and Absalom regarded all of Ahithophel’s advice.

Absalom is leading a rebellion against his father, King David. It would seem the bitterness between this father and son came out of Absalom’s distrust of David for not having dealt adequately with Amnon, David’s son, and Absalom’s half-brother. Amon followed the misguided advice of his friend by luring his half-sister Tamar into his room, then raping her. He then added salt to Tamar’s wounds by casting her out from his house in her tattered virgin robe.

Absalom realizing what had happened decided to take matters into his own hands by luring Amnon and all the king’s sons to a party where he had Amnon brutally murdered. News had reached David that all his sons were dead at the hands of Absalom. Later the news was revised to say that only Amnon was dead. Absalom, fearing retribution from his father, fled and was exiled. Later he was allowed to return to Jerusalem.

During that time however, Absalom plotted a means of dethroning his father. He did this by gaining the trust of his father’s close advisors and friends. He then left the city with many of David’s men and created a fighting force which looked as if he intended to invade and take over the throne.

Here in 2 Samuel 16:15-23 we have two close friends of David who are trying to kiss up to Absalom.

1. (vv.15-19) Absalom is approached by Hushai, a close friend of both David and Absalom. Absalom is young and arrogant. This inexperience with people, and his overly cocky demeanor will be his eventual downfall. One thing we should try to remember is that we must choose our friends carefully. Here Hushai approaches Absalom after having been a friend of David. Absalom is too quick to receive him without first testing his loyalties. At first glance, it seems that Hushai is a low-down double crosser. However, he has been sent by David for the express purpose of gaining Absalom’s trust. In today’s vernacular, we might call him a double agent. There are two things that Hushai needs to convince Absalom of: 1) first that his betrayal of David is sincere, 2) second, that his devotion to Absalom is just as sincere.

Perhaps, Absalom’s mistake was thinking that he’s right and that his father is wrong–a mistake that often accompanies inexperienced youth. Absalom is described as the handsomest young man in the land without a single blemish from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, and that his hair was the crown of his pride so that he did not cut it until it got to be too heavy for him.

People are apt to follow such charismatic personalities. They’re drawn by the surface-level beauty and they’re willing to overlook the deeper character flaws. They are merely opportunists taking advantage of another’s misery for their own gain.

2. (vv.20-23) Absalom is advised by Ahithophel. Ahithophel is said to have advised both David and Absalom and in those days, when he spoke, it was as though God were speaking.

This leads us to the second lesson of the day. The first lesson was to be cautious about misguided friendships, and the second is to be cautious about misguided advice. Ahithopel is advising Absalom about how to betray his own father. The consequences of such an action is unthinkable. His advice to Absalom is to take his father’s concubines and sleep with them to further disgrace king David, and to completely sever all ties of loyalty.

Unfortunately, Absalom heeded Ahithophel’s advice and slept with his father’s concubine’s on the roof in full view for all Israel. This terrible sin is the lingering stench of Amnon’s sin with Tamar, and also of David’s sin with Bathsheba.

Ahithophel’s life will ultimately end up in death by suicide. However, the damage that Absalom has caused himself by accepting Hushai and Ahithophel will ultimately destroy him.